Life Lesson #23

Here in these deep city lights, girl could get lost tonight. I’m finding every reason to be gone. There’s nothing here to hold on to. Could I hold on to you?

I’ve recently hit that same wall of reality that I’ve watched my older friends and siblings experience in their first few months/years as former college students. Hit is a light term. I’m pretty sure I crashed into it, which actually isn't all that bad. Crashing created a strong impact, so maybe after a few more go’s I’ll be through to whatever awaits on the other side. I just hope it’s not another wall…

It took me longer than I expected to fully acknowledge that I have to hold myself accountable and take full control over the direction of my life now. I did the whole 4-year college thing and chose not to go straight to grad school so I no longer have such structured expectations to fall back on. It’s just me and the rest of the world, living our lives.

This is all normal, from what I understand – simply a part of the whole coming-of-age process. What really jarred me was that I caught myself doing something I swore I wouldn’t do. I promised myself I would never let myself get stuck; that I would never be someone so caught up in the daily grind that they forget about the goals they had previously set for themselves. Yet, there I was, living day to day, falling into a sense of complacency, and promising myself that one day in the not-so-distant future I’d be doing something I truly cared about.

Now, it’s not like I’m about to quit my day job tomorrow and do something extravagant. This wasn’t that type of awakening. It was simply a lesson that it really is all too easy to just let life happen to you and sometimes it takes a lot of effort to hold the reins and steer. Thanks Life, duly noted.