Countdown to D-Day

Departure Day. Sunday, Feb 3rd. 5:55pm EST. JFK Airport. Final Desination: Tunis, Tunisia.

Holy shit. I'm on the verge of pissing my pants and I can't seem to decide if it's from excitement or the feeling that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I've committed 4 months to studying, living, and researching a country I knew absolutely nothing about until 9 months ago. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing. To be honest, I had almost forgotten about that tiny country in North Africa between Libya and Algeria after 7th grade Social Studies.

So how does someone whose foreign language education has only been Spanish since 6th grade (plus 2 years of high school Latin, if that counts for anything) and focusing on International Development (which means learning how the 3rd world functions/how the west thinks it ought to function) end up studying Globalization in the Arab world?

My answer: No clue, but I can tell you a story.

Ever since I was a kid I started to think about ways I could afford to travel all the time to "exotic" places (any ol' Joe can go to London, give me someplace off the beaten path like Djibouti or something). I could marry rich, but guys had cooties and I wanted to avoid that disease, or I could get a job that paid me to travel. Becoming a movie star was the initial career of choice because not only did you get to shoot movies all over the world and learn cool things like how to ride a horse backwards, but you got paid millions of dollars (wowee!). Well, after a few years of dreaming and scheming I could tell that wasn't really gonna pan out either, so long story short I end up at GW in Washington, DC and stumble upon Int'l Development as well as the gloriousness that is AIESEC.

Doing an awesome internship abroad (especially in my field of study) was a pretty attractive factor in joining, but I found AIESEC to be much more, and after realizing I was dumb enough to run for LCP and actually get elected, my T-ship time was pushed back. Oh, but then came the glory of International Conferences. I found my way to the first ever MENA (Middle East/North Africa) LDS and my world was rocked, full blast. Well, during this life-altering experience, in all of the bus rides to and from different venues and events, the US delegation always rode with the Tunisians, who are the craziest motherfuckers I've ever met (in a good way). Needless to say, some of my closest friends from that conference are Tunisians. After parting ways, and exchanging many a business card, I returned to DC.

This whole time, I'd been planning to study abroad Spring '08 (after my term as LCP ended) debating between the Int'l Development programs in Bolivia (grassroots, plus spanish speaking) or in Switzerland (internship with/exposure to more NGOs and their HQs, plus finally learn French). Ya know, programs directly related to my major and education that will give me some legit experience and direction. But after MENALDS, I find out that a member of my EB in DC, Isaac, is off to Tunisia for a year-long traineeship AND the same organization with the kickass programs in Bolivia and Switzerland is starting up a new program in Tunisia. The first semester they are offering it is Spring '08 (only it focuses on Globalization and Arab Youth, close enough right?...and they speak Arabic). Coupled with my ongoing conversations with my Tunisian buds it seemed like the world was trying to tell me something...or I'm just really weird and don't know how to interpret coincidences.

So I petitioned my university to approve the program and now I'm on my way. I'm still not sure if that explains why I'm going or what I'm doing there, but I guess that's part of the adventure. I have no idea what to expect. I'm living with a homestay, but I don't know who my family is or how big (or small) it is, or where in the city they're located. I'm supposed to do a research project based on the theme of Globalization, complete with a month all to myself for field research, but I have no idea how to narrow down a topic. That's really awesome, I guess, but the unknown is always a bit scary, too.

On the Road

Oh boy, what a week! I know that it's not so great for the environment and gas is expensive, but there is nothing better than a long drive with a batch of freshly burned mixes. My adventure took me from my home away from home of Washington, DC, to Williamsburg, to Atlanta, to UNC-Chapel Hill, and back home to NJ. It couldn't have come at a better time, too.

Not only had I slowly been going insane sitting at home for several weeks (in South Jersey, or SoJo as I call it, all you can do in winter is eat, go to the movies, or go to the mall... that's pretty much it), but a pretty big storm exploded the night before I left. This is not the place for those juicy details, but the gist of it is that me and my dad don't see eye to eye on a lot of things and he flipped out and a bunch of issues were laid on the table that left me pretty upset and a tad confused...so an escape from such an environment and some time to myself was much needed.

Firstly, mad props to my big brother for some really stellar music recommendations. There are way too many songs/artists to list them all out, but the mixes that developed were pretty damn good/helpful, especially Wednesday morning as I started out on my voyage and on the long drive to Atlanta. If anyone wants recommendations, I'll be happy to share, but part of the fun is definitely discovering the songs and sequences that create those magically perfect mixes for yourself.

So the highlights:

-Grabbin some good ol' Cone E (complete with fantasy bar) with some of my favorite chicas after Indian food with Jon in DC

-Breakfast with Gina and Jenny, where I got my own personal blue man

-Passing by Chris Brown's hometown (Tappahannock, VA)...unfortunately I didn't have time to drive through :( (go ahead and judge, I dare you)

-Seeing my Cookie at William and Mary

-Good Food with Great people in Atlanta
Fyi, Fat Matt's = best bbq ribs I've ever had...EVER (and I've had my share)

-Shenkie's Farewell partay

-Getting introduced to some cool new bands by Kelsey and Amy at a kick-ass concert in Chapel Hill: Red Collar, I was totally destroying it, Hammer (they didn't play, but I got to sample some of their music), and Megafaun (the latter is much better live than recorded)

-The after-party for previously mentioned concert

-Taking a wrong turn in my home state of NJ upon my return and almost getting stuck in dreaded Camden...I have absolutely no idea how that happened

I have to say that a rather negative cloud was cast over this trip by the Tuesday affair, BUT it was rather quickly remedied by long drives, long convos with my sister, and the bright, familiar faces along the journey. I feel reconnected and refreshed. It's hard to express right now since I'm not in the most reflective of moods, and most of what I feel is gratitude to my comrades who did an excellent job of showing me around and making me feel at home.

I see much more of these trips in the future...once I get back from my international adventure(s) of course. Only next time, I think I might try to allow more time to explore the in-between places and allow for some spontaneous stops and side-trips. I'm also planning to grab some co-pilots as well, let's hope the fall course line-up isn't too demanding.

Maybe the world doesn't want to be saved

I just finished a good book. The Mission Song by John LeCarre (who also wrote The Constant Gardener) is about a highly skilled interpreter with a strong background in the Eastern Congo who is asked to interpret for a clandestine meeting, his first, and what happens as a result. It's a quick, engaging read, but it also frustrated me. I guess that's part of the reason I enjoyed it, it made me think.

Over and over again you see people and ideas that have the potential to save a country, bring stability to an unstable place, change the world for the better, only to watch it fall apart, for the greedy scheme behind it to be revealed, or to see the moneybackers corrupt it. It just makes me wonder what I can do. I mean, the situations in developing countries aren't going to change unless both the people and their governments can work together to make a change. It has to come from within, so what can someone like me do from the outside that will actually help? Lobby? Lobby for what? Try to talk the first world out of meddling in the third and ignore their need for precious resources?

There are no perfect organizations, and probably never will be. There is no perfect holistic plan, and there definitely never will be. As westerners, we've pushed and shoved weaker people, weaker countries, weaker continents around enough in our efforts to aid and exploit. But how can we as human beings just sit on the sidelines and watch, right? It's just frustrating to see where I'm heading in terms of a career (or at least where I think I'm headed...) and to talk to other people and come to an understanding of what we're doing wrong, but also have no idea what's right. There are so many factors in International Development that can affect success, however you define it, so how do you come up with a solution and to what extent can you expect to implement it?

It brought me back to a conversation I had with my co-intern over the summer, Florina from Romania. We were talking about Thomas Friedman and Development and the issues therein and she said, "All of these people, these institutions, they talk about saving the world and I'm just not sure that the world wants to be saved." The idealist in me doesn't want to believe that to be true, but sometimes I can't help but think she's absolutely right.

Manda's Mad Hot Disney Mix (2005)

I came across this gem of a cd while sorting my stuff this afternoon. Check out the playlist. It's guaranteed to lift your spirits:

1. Circle of Life - The Lion King
2. He Mele No Lilo - Lilo and Stitch
3. One Jump Ahead - Aladdin
4. I Just Can't Wait to be King - The Lion King
5. Zero to Hero - Hercules
6. Under the Sea - The Little Mermaid
7. Hakuna Matata - The Lion King
8. Belle - Beauty and the Beast
9. Just Around the Riverbend - Pochahantas
10. I Wanna Know - Tarzan
11. Can You Feel the Love Tonight? - The Lion King
12. A Whole New World - Aladdin
13. Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast
14. Reflection - Mulan
15. Be Our Guest - Beauty and the Beast
16. Poor Unfortunate Souls - The Little Mermaid
17. I Won't Say (I'm in Love) - Hercules
18. Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride - Lilo and Stitch
19. You'll Be in My Heart - Tarzan
20. Colors of the Wind - Pochahantas
21. Kiss the Girl - The Little Mermaid
22. Go the Distance - Hercules
23. I'll Make a Man Out of You - Mulan

Listen to it, Live it, Love it

Driving

There's something about driving, about moving while at the same time sitting still, that invokes thought. I'm not sure why, but that's not important. As I listened to the Blerg Mix driving around my hometown, thinking about the weeks ahead, that strange spell was cast.

I realized something this past week...I have a lot more than I thought. I have finally figured out what was missing (to a degree) and made peace with some inner demons. This epiphany came with a small fear, as all new things do, that time is swift and change ever swifter.

Can we ever truly capture a moment in time? It's funny how the smallest moments mean so much. They're over so quickly, sometimes. They become tiny gems in the back of your mind that twinkle in the galaxy of reminiscence. When they happen, I wish I could stretch time and live in them forever. But I'll settle for storing these stars until the weary years come. As Coelho wrote, "Seek to live, Remembrance is for the Old."

And I'll leave you with a beautiful song that spoke to me tonight:

"Changing Colours" by The Great Lakes Swimmers

You look at me with uncertainty,
You look at me with urgency.
You look at me with fear in your eyes
like you're about to fall away.

But don't be afraid to change your colours now.
I've known you all Summer, and you rose above it all.
I see you hesitate to fall now,
But it's a pretty good view from down here, too.

And when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think, and I will try to.
When you let go, I will let go, too.

I knew you when you were green and strong.
You were like a feather on a wing, so long.
You know I will miss you when you are gone,
but don't be afraid if you just can't hang on.

'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too.

The cold air is pushing hard on you.
I know what you're saying; I can feel it, too.
You'll go through changes, and I'll go through them too.
Don't be afraid now, don't be afraid.

'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too