Hi world. Please employ me. Thanks!

"Dear Amanda: We regret to inform you that we cannot fulfill your request for employment. Things are hectic now and there's simply just no time to train you in the crazy, mile a minute world. While we cannot accept you now, we will keep you in mind in the future. Thank you for your interest. Sincerely, 'the World'"

This pretty much sums up my life right now (thanks to my contextually hilarious roommate, Erika).

I have options. I do not worry whether I will find something worth doing. The desperation comes from waiting to land the job I want and figuring out worthy back-up plans or interim options. At this point, if I don't get the kick-ass job with FORGE working with refugees in Zambia, I'll probably end up teaching English in Colombia. Why is that my back-up? I really want to go to Colombia, good pay, and health insurance. But, for now, I just have to wait and hear back about Zambia.

This is definitely an interesting time. In a month, my friends and I will be dispersing throughout the globe indefinitely. It's liberating, exciting, and kind of terrifying. There's this sense of urgency to soak up all of DC and do everything I never took advantage of, but always wanted to (and then realizing I don't really have the time or money to do it all). There's the shared concern of keeping in touch with friends who will be far away (especially because I am terrible at doing that). The interesting prospect of meeting new people and making new friends (though, how that happens is still a fairly baffling process). The apathy as securing a job and living up the last month grow more important than coursework. And, ultimately, the looming shadow of "good-bye" that we all know is coming.

4 weeks until the semester ends. 5 1/2 weeks until graduation. Crazy.

To infinity and beyond...

So here's my status so far:

Tonight - Peace Corps application about to be submitted

Wed. Jan 28 - meeting with my professor to get some advice about establishing Our Voices, the refugee organization I 'proposed' last semester

Feb 7th - Taking the Foreign Service Officer Test


Back-up plan: Traineeship


I think it would be an incredible challenge to establish Our Voices, and amazingly rewarding if I pull it off, but part of me feels it might be better to get some more field experience before I start creating something potentially controversial in potentially dangerous and/or unstable locations. (hence the peace corps option)

These next two weeks will likely have a significant influence as to which direction I'll decide to commit to. Commitment of this nature has always been an issue for me. The Foreign Service is something I've always debated with myself, whether or not that's the avenue I really want to go. It was my initial career goal in studying international affairs and still holds some appeal, plus taking the test would be a helpful experience. I doubt I'll pass, but who knows?

All I know is that being stuck in a cubicle, biding my time with menial tasks, is not someplace I want to be. Not unless I know it's a necessary step toward a long-term goal, which is not yet the case.

"We'll see," said the Zen Master

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Establish Our Voices, the organization I proposed last semester
2. Get a well paying job this semester to earn and (more importantly) save money
3. Use said money for travel and/or OV (or perhaps travel for OV)
4. Reconnect with old friends
5. Stay focused

Entering 2009 is very different from 2008. In 2008 I knew where I would be throughout the year, or at least where I would end up. 2009 is very open-ended. It's exciting and unnerving at the same time, but I guess that means that this is going to be a very pivotal year in terms of starting down a new path. The OV project is definitely my goal, there is too much behind it and too much potential not to try now. That is the only thing that has really been clear.

That and more traveling. There are so many places I still want to go to, so many I really want to experience. It's going to be a challenge to decide when, where, and how long I can give to each place as well as finding the means to do so. But like most of my traveling, at least travel for travel's sake, the opportunities will present themselves as they come.

PS I just saw Slumdog Millionaire. It was fantastic, like super fantastic. SEE IT!

Me Enamora ... and other things

Earlier this semester I was very frustrated. The classes that I am taking only seemed to be a cage, a window in a high tower overlooking mistakes and devastation that my classmates and I appeared unable to fix or help. Now, however, that frustration is stripping itself away. I think this research project is the most beneficial part of my education thus far. Considering that my research does not completely kill my idea, it is my goal to make it a reality.

This week in DC is the first ever FotoWeek (awesome!) and so last Saturday I had the opportunity to get my photography portfolio reviewed by a professional. I sat with Frank Van Riper and I told him about my refugee project and not only was he supportive of the idea but he dropped some gems on me in terms of how to make my project better as well as photographers I should look into who do similar work. It was definitely a helpful push in the right direction.

Needless to say, that daunting notion of what to do after G-day is growing less and less foreboding. I'm still going to take the Foreign Service exam, though even if I do get far along int that process, I don't know that I will accept a job in that department just yet. The Peace Corps is another option, though I'm putting that off until next semester. But my main focus right now is putting in the preliminary work (i.e. this research paper) to try and get this project off the ground. I will lay out more details after I have completed some informational interviews that will give me a better gauge on how my idea needs to develop.

For now, I will simply leave you with the song in my head. Which, along with several other tracks on my ipod, remind me of the far away people and places that I am missing.

"Me Enamora" by Juanes

Cada blanco del mi mente
Se vuelve calor con verte
Y el deseo de tenerte
Es mas fuerte, es mas fuerte

Solo quiero que me lleves
De tu mano por la senda
Y atrevesar el bosque
Que divide nuestras vidas

Hay tantas cosas que me gustan hoy de ti

Me enamora que me hables con tu boca
Me enamora que me eleves hasta al cielo
Me enomora que de mi sea tu alma sonadora
Esperanza de mis ojos
Sin ti mi vida no tiene sentido
Sin ti mi vida es como un remolino
De cenizas que se van, oh
Volando con el viento

Yo no se si te merezco
Solo se que aun deseo
Que le des luz a mi vida
En los dias venideros

Leeme muy bien los labios
Te lo digo bien despacio
Por el resto de mis dias
Quiero ser tu compania

Hay tantas cosas que me gustan hoy de ti

Me enamora que me hables con tu boca
Me enamora que me eleves hasta al cielo
Me enamora que de mi sea tu alma sonadora
Esperanza de mis ojos
Sin ti mi vida no tiene sentido
Sin ti mi vida es como un remolino
De cenizas que se van, oh
Volando con el viento

I LOVE DC

It's circa 11pm, and we're flipping back and forth between Indecision 2008 and Fox News (gotta balance it out). Cheers echo from different parts of the dorm's courtyard depending on which candidate has been called in a state. Suddenly, resounding screams of excitement ring through the building.

"What?! Which one got more votes?"
"Oh my god! Obama won!! He's declared at 297 votes!!"

We all scream with delight. Alright, so what to do now? Take a few shots and go outside to "storm the streets". But where to go? Where would the mass of our fellow students who live in the heart of Washington, DC go to celebrate this momentous occasion?

The White House.

The four of us (my roommates and I) were there as our fellow students marched, ran, and skipped the 5 or 6 blocks to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. to celebrate in front of the future home of the next American President, Barack Obama. It is something indescribable; to be surrounded by a sea of people, especially young people, cheering and chanting for our confidence in the future. Not even the rain could deter us. To share a moment like this, in a place so symbolic, with so many people... that is the kind of memory that grows old with you.

I'm really excited to see what Obama will accomplish. Now the real work begins for him. In the meantime I'll try to get my voice back and rest up for my classes tomorrow.