Everybody Sails Alone

But we can travel side by side
Even if you fail
You know that no one really minds. (KT Tunstall)

Astronomy/Cosmology is something that has always piqued my curiosity. I was watching an episode of "The Universe and Beyond" on the History Channel this afternoon (great series, btw), and it is really fascinating how inconceivably large the Universe is. The show at the Griffith Observatory planetarium in LA pans out from LA to the Earth, to our Solar System, to our Galaxy, to the billions and billions of galaxies out in space just to provide a glimpse at how vast the universe is. When I go to Durango, I can always see millions of stars at night and it's strange to think that some of the stars we see are no longer in existence; that the spark of light I am seeing has travelled several lightyears in order for it to be visible from a small town in SW Colorado on a tiny planet on the edge of a galaxy.

So, contemplating the universe is intriguing, but how does that translate to reality as a member of this organism called society? The more I think about it, the more obvious it becomes that life is about being interesting (to yourself) and doing what matters (to you). I mean, you have this one life on this one planet for a relatively short period of time in this incredibly vast universe, what difference does it make?

It's more than just living in the moment, carpe diem-ing and all that. It's thinking about the big picture, about the days when your sitting with your children or your grandchildren. What kind of stories are you going to have? What types of experiences will you share with them? Our lives, however cosmically short they may be, are full of choices, are made up of choices. In the end, these choices are all we really have, or at least the consequences of these choices. So I guess the question is how to decide which choices are the right ones. But that's for you to decide.

On travel

There is much to be said of travel. There is much to be said about the flaws and downfalls of society. And there is much to be said of independence, of ultimate freedom, that often leads to loneliness.

For me, the purpose of travel, or of choosing to be free, is to understand. To understand others as much as myself, to understand the wonders of nature, and that no amount of wisdom gained from any experience means knowing. For as far as I have understood, no one ever really knows anything. We put our trust in faith and call it truth -- but even truth is indefinable, so we put our faith in trust.

To open our eyes to the world, to push ourselves out of our comfort zones, is to expose ourselves to humility and teach ourselves trust. And somewhere along this path is the undying hope of discovering that ever-elusive truth, even though we may never truly uncover it, for we can never truly know it. At least not in this life.

Applying my major

As an International Affairs major, concentrating in International Development, I have read a lot about foreign policy and conflict and globalization and some about the organizations involved. Provided the recent politics of an international organization near and dear to my heart (AIESEC), I've begun to look closer at something that I started to notice last year at an international conference.

My experiences in this organization, coupled with my studies, have shown me that many international organizations are really just microcosms of the geo-political reality, regardless of their missions. For example, in AIESEC, conflict between the US and the rest of the global association has been rising and falling, but ever-constant for the past few years. The US is trying to streamline the core work of the org to make operations more efficient in order to grow exponentially and achieve more quantifiable results. It has been hesitant to comply with the demands of the rest of the association because doing so might mean adopting regulations that may not be effective and for fear that consenting could lead to an infringement upon its sovereignty and thus hurt its efforts to expand and improve the organization as it sees fit.

In looking at other international organizations the US belongs to, like the UN, the IMF, and the World Bank, it's not all that different. The US carries a lot of weight in all of these organizations, and in many ways these organizations might not function properly/may not have been started if not for the US, due to its political and economical fortitude after the Second World War (See Bretton Woods and Dumbarton Oaks). As a result, the US rarely compromises on its foreign policy within these organizations, if ever. It has yet to sign the Kyoto Protocol because it doesn't think it will be effective, and while it signed the nuclear non-proliferation treaty (approximately 40 years ago), it's debatable whether or not it has violated this treaty through certain NATO agreements.

I'm not sure if the connections I've made are clear, but to be honest I don't really know how to accurately explain them concisely. There are more examples I could use involving other countries within these orgs, but this one is clearest to me right now (though it's still a bit rough), and again there's the whole conciseness issue.

What these connections make me wonder, though, is how effective are any of these organizations in reality if all they do is perpetuate the status quo under the guise of international cooperation? Perhaps with this new wave of globalization in the post-Cold War era, the days of these post-WWII organizations are coming to an end. Do these organizations really have the capacity to create the changes they strive for within our global structure? Is it time for a new system of international networking and collaboration to be developed?

Who knows? Maybe it's already developing...I should look into that. I guess it's a good thing that one of my classes this fall is "International Organizations"

Driving

There's something about driving, about moving while at the same time sitting still, that invokes thought. I'm not sure why, but that's not important. As I listened to the Blerg Mix driving around my hometown, thinking about the weeks ahead, that strange spell was cast.

I realized something this past week...I have a lot more than I thought. I have finally figured out what was missing (to a degree) and made peace with some inner demons. This epiphany came with a small fear, as all new things do, that time is swift and change ever swifter.

Can we ever truly capture a moment in time? It's funny how the smallest moments mean so much. They're over so quickly, sometimes. They become tiny gems in the back of your mind that twinkle in the galaxy of reminiscence. When they happen, I wish I could stretch time and live in them forever. But I'll settle for storing these stars until the weary years come. As Coelho wrote, "Seek to live, Remembrance is for the Old."

And I'll leave you with a beautiful song that spoke to me tonight:

"Changing Colours" by The Great Lakes Swimmers

You look at me with uncertainty,
You look at me with urgency.
You look at me with fear in your eyes
like you're about to fall away.

But don't be afraid to change your colours now.
I've known you all Summer, and you rose above it all.
I see you hesitate to fall now,
But it's a pretty good view from down here, too.

And when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think, and I will try to.
When you let go, I will let go, too.

I knew you when you were green and strong.
You were like a feather on a wing, so long.
You know I will miss you when you are gone,
but don't be afraid if you just can't hang on.

'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too.

The cold air is pushing hard on you.
I know what you're saying; I can feel it, too.
You'll go through changes, and I'll go through them too.
Don't be afraid now, don't be afraid.

'Cause when the wind takes you, it takes me, too.
When you change colours, I change mine, too.
Try not to think and I will try, too.
And when you let go, I will let go, too

Conversations...

Sitting around the fire tonight talking about family matters with my sister and her wife while the rest of the family slept and fresh colorado snow fell outside, we ended up on the subject of the state of the world, the US education system, etc - one of those good all around conversations that you wish you had with people more often (rather than talking about how ridiculous the last Top Model episode was...). It was really great to finally be able to sit down with my sisters and have a real conversation about stuff like this, and I got a few things out of it. Some of these lessons aren't necessarily new, but are the type of lessons you need to remember, but often forget:

1. The world is inhabited by people. People are human. Humans are fucked up.
2. Humans, however, evolve. Thus, eventually will not be as fucked up in the future as they are today.
3. The world is changing. More specifically, the systems and assumptions we grew up with are changing.
4. The sooner we accept that these things change, the easier it will be to adapt. Or at least, the sooner we will be able to adapt.
5. A huge part of the problem with certain domestic and international issues is poor information and lack of knowledge (ignorance)
6. If more people could break outside of their bubbles (i.e. leave their hometown, or even leave their country), the external and macro perspective would create a better understanding for their personal situation and the situation of the world.
7. Pay it forward. The bottom-up, ripple effect tends to work much better than top-down systems (in our opinion)

The Hope

I just had my first transition meeting with my successor as LCP, Gina. It went really well, and I look forward to our future meetings. I am so excited for her, too. Sitting with her and talking about where she saw our LC going and what she wanted to do, I couldn't help but feel totally unaccomplished in my term...which was a bit depressing. But I had to catch myself. While I may not have achieved the strong, kick-ass status within my year, I have by no means failed. One of my goals I outline earlier in this semester was to lay the foundations for future generations to take the LC to great heights, even if I am not necessarily there to experience it. Tonight's meeting made me realize that I may just be successful with that.

Gina has got everything our next LCP needs, drive, motivation, strong leadership skills , and a clear vision. I know she'll get a lot done. I can't wait to see where things are this time next year. I know that there are great things in store for this community (my baby).

It's very strange when you reach that point where you realize you have gained so much experience and you begin to look at new members through different eyes, you begin to think "I remember when that was me" and realize that you are the older member that you once found in those who are now gone and graduated. To see how this organization is changing, it is a very different experience.

It's a microcosm of life; it helps to put a lot of things into perspective. Things change, you have the power to influence the new direction, but you also must be willing to let go and pass the torch to the next generation...all for the greater good; Not for your success and glory, but for the success of an idea, for maintaining a common belief that unites people